


Technicality

by infinitycats



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, additional tags as we go on, post Uhura/Spock, underage for one chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-29
Updated: 2014-05-06
Packaged: 2018-01-06 13:32:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1107449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinitycats/pseuds/infinitycats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim and Spock meet once when they were young, again for a heart breaking moment, and the rest is a technicality. Something Spock embraces.</p><p> </p><p>Kind of like Titanic the first time around but with less 'icebergs' and 'dying', but just as much heart break.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> they're both kids JUST for this chapter. pre-tarsus IV and there is only some changes from how AOS goes about and this fic. my twitter is @vulcanslut for any concerns/updates.

Spock stood in front of a large window that gave the most impeccable view of any stars on this side of the universe. Of course, the observation deck was the best place to see the stars than the rest of the ship. It was only logical for the young Vulcan boy to find this level of the ship the most optimal and crucial place for him.

You could describe it as star gazing but the boy's mother would more like to say it was pre-planning. And her son would reply with something along the lines, “Mother, would you not still be planning?” His mother would get quiet for a moment, as to think and reply with a swift yes. “Then, 'pre-planning' is a redundant and illogical term to use,” and his mother would laugh and the boy would feel his stomach turn around in fondness of her laugh.

Now, he was alone and there was no one on this deck to his knowledge and the boy liked it this way. He was given special permission to be on this deck by his father since it was him who got them tickets for the intergalactic cruise ship and his mother, Amanda thought it would be a great experience for Spock and also an even better experience for some associates she was communicating with.

It wasn't a forlorn picture; a young Vulcan boy alone on an observation deck viewing the stars. It was kind of interesting to see a Vulcan almost feel, decided the other body in the deck.

It was dark and Jim could see the Vulcan watching the stars as they were cruising by before heading into warp back to Earth. Tonight was the last night of the trip and Jim wasn't going to let the night pass by him without something memorable happening. Like, stealing food or wandering when he wasn't supposed to or making friends with a Vulcan, but then he wondered if Vulcans can even be friends with people. He waited for a moment or two before walking softly behind the other boy.

“Like the stars?”

If a Vulcan could be startled, Jim decided that he would be. Spock slowly glanced at Jim and then back at the stars. “It,” he started slowly but confidently, “would be illogical to have a likeness to gas but, yes, I am fond of them.” He was very quiet when he confessed this. Spock felt that a little confession would not harm anyone and he did not know the boy well enough to put trust in him but he was younger than what Spock was and did not mind.

“Me too,” the Terran boy confessed back. “I don't know them like this,” his eyebrows came together in mild frustration. “On Earth, I know almost all the stars in the sky. You can't see Earth from here though, Aren't you a Vulcan?”

“Yes,” Spock said in a clean and crisp manner. His eyes did not move from watching the stars. He was always a cautious boy when it came to talking to others, especially non-Vulcan and around his age. Jim leans on one of his legs, wondering what Spock would be studying so hard. The young boy's lips part for a fraction of a second and Spock knows the question.

“On the other side.” He also knows the answer.

So they walked.

Quietly in a comfortable silence, they both walked to the other side of the observation desk. Jim tries to decide what to say but his brother taught him being quiet says a lot more things than words. The boy waits for the other and he clears his throat because Spock doesn't talk for a little while.

Spock walks close to the glass and doesn't press his finger to the window when he points out a small tiny light and looks at Jim. “There is Vulcan,” Jim tilts his head to the side and asks about the other stars below it. So Spock answers to Jim's curiosity and Jim retains the information like a sponge and water. If anyone else was looking at the pair, they would have discovered that they were a perfect fit together, completely understanding one without the other having to explain himself.

Jim recites a little bit of the planets and Spock finds comfort in the boy who could so easily talk and follow him in conversation. “Huh,” Jim says.

Spock realizes that he is much taller and older than his companion. Jim seems to be around the human age of 7 or maybe 8. He begins to evaluate his theory before Jim comes to voice his own. “How old are you anyways?”

“11,” Spock replies. “Vulcans age much slower,” he said to Jim and that was that. Jim titled his head again to the other side and said, “Well, I'm almost 8 so we're about the same age.”

Spock was about to say that no, they weren't the same age until Jim had winked at him and walked away. “Come on!” He called for him, his voice stuck between a whisper and a normal conversational volume. Spock hesitated. He did not know the boy very well, all he knew was his age and not even his name. He put his thoughts together and decided to follow him very quietly out of the deck. In a fluent motion, he walks in step beside the young boy's side.

“Where are we going?” Spock asks and Jim replies almost instant, “Will you tell me your name if I tell you?”

Jim also decides that if a Vulcan could frown, this would be their face. “I do not see why you would resort to means of bartering if you could just ask.” The younger boy frowns and Spock finds no flaws in his statement. They begin to walk again. “It's not that fun if I just asked you, besides, I bet your name is better than mine. More exotic, probably.”

Jim tends to say things without truly realizing what he means. The saucy young boy has a lot more kick in him than anyone gave him credit for. Spock raises one eyebrow quickly before proceeding to continue to the end of the hallway where the elevator is. They enter and Spock is about to press the number to get to his room but Jim presses all of the numbers except for the one Spock wanted.

“I've always wanted to do that,” he tells Spock with a mischievous little smile. “Mom always gives me a look when I try to and you know how adults are.”

Spock stares at Jim until they reach the next floor and the door dings open and pings close. “What? Oh, don't tell me.” He groans and Spock clears his throat. "What was the motive of pressing all the buttons when it would be more effective to press the one relevant to your housing?"

"Because."

"I do not understand, explain."

Jim begins to roll his eyes, he glances at Spock with a witty remark coiled around his tongue. "Because, Mister Vulcan-"

"Since you did not wish tell me your name, you may call me Selek." Spock is not lying about his name, in fact, he is just telling the boy another method of referring to him. Spock likes this technically and is satisfied.

"Okaaay, Selek, you can call me... George."

"Explain, George."

Jim likes that Selek/Spock doesn't miss a beat with him when they're talking. “Because it's fun and fun depends on who is having it and since it's me, it's fun.”

Spock would like to point out some things with that argument but understands what he means. He nods at Jim in acknowledgment, not agreement because he couldn't find a way to say that he agreed without also pointing out the flaws but Jim is almost 8 and he's at the age for Terrans, Spock decides, that arguments aren't very sound.

He is correct in that matter because well, Jim gets bored of the elevator. Since no one is awake, he can't see the frustration of his silliness get to anyone and while he has the vaguest idea of if Vulcans even can feel, he can't tell if his new friend is weary as well. Vulcans are uncrackable, he decides. “Teach me something.” Not a question, nor an offer. A demand. Spock contemplates this for a while until Jim begins to beg. “Please, Selek, the elevator wasn't the great idea.” He whispers, unknowing Vulcans hear better than humans so Spock, or Selek in this matter, heard him.

“Chess,” Spock says and gets his PADD from a little side pouch he carries on himself under his nice and overly large sweater that is obviously not his. Jim gets close to him and Spock realizes he is exceptionally colder than he is. He sets the PADD down on the floor, and removes the sweater and puts it over the protesting human boy. “George.” he says in a motherly tone that ends all protesting. Jim would ordinarily protest even more but he found solace in the sweater so he puts it on and he learns how to play chess.

They sit on the floor of the elevator, the floors passing by them.

Jim is a quick learner. Spock is a shitty teacher, Jim decides because if it wasn't for Jim's quick adaptation to the Vulcan’s learning style, Jim would be lost.

His erratic and illogical style of playing makes Spock second guess all of his opponents moves. The first set of games, Spock wins but the third goes to Jim on sheer luck. Not like Vulcans believe in luck anyways but Jim does. He smiles, proud of himself and decides that Spock smiles through his eyes ad doesn't tell him anything. He fears that if he brings it up, Spock would eradicate it all together. Jim also notices something else when he looks into Spock's eyes, like how they look like humans. Jim's never met another Vulcan so he doesn't know exactly how their eyes are supposed to look. So he focuses on the game that he may or may not be losing for now.

He wins.

 

* * *

 

When they get to the floor that Jim had in mind, he runs off down the hall. Spock realizes that the boy must work here because they're on the working and lower levels. Jim is running off, yelling for Selek. Spock has no trouble keeping up and they arrive at their destination.

“My roommate's Bones, he's real nice, kind of. He's in his teens and really grouchy but he keeps me in check better than my own mom.” He whispers to Spock who takes note in this personal confession to keep for himself, so he does. Jim looks at the cart outside the door. It's a food tray with plates and covers for them. “It's all ours. Whatever gets left, Bones steals so we can eat it. They don't feed us enough.”

Spock takes a look at all the dishes and finds the pasta to be the one he takes attention to. They sit and eat and Jim eats with his hands. He takes a liking to shrimp and Spock keeps that in mind. They eat and place some more Chess and the occasional Checkers, but both of them find it to not be up to par with Chess.

They give up Checkers all together.

 

Jim begins to tell Spock of home in Iowa but never references to the actual town. They speak about many things; planets and stars, Star Fleet, math and literature, likes and dislikes (Jim figures with Spock, it’s more up to logic versus personal preference) and even the hated topic of family. Spock eases into the lapse of conversation, something he has never done before with anyone. It's nice, the way they eat and play and talk and never worry about anything else and when they're done, they cover up the food. Jim checks up on Bones inside their room only to find out that he wasn't there all this time.

“Bastard.”

“Is everything alright, George?” and Jim nods back and invites him in. Spock stands but then takes the offer to sit on Jim's bed, where he lays. Jim scoots and lets Spock take up a space.

“I don't want to go back home,” he says really quietly after a pregnant pause. For a moment, Spock has to agree. When watching Terran shows or movies, the phrase “I never want this night to end” always appears and Spock finally understands it. Instead of agreeing, Spock makes a low sound of acknowledgment and Jim turns on his side to face Spock. “Tell me about Vulcan.”

Spock hesitates for a moment before answering, “It is warm to Terrans but pleasant to Vulcans. It is similar to the desert biome.” Spock thinks for a moment and Jim waits, “Earth is often described as the blue planet but Vulcan is red.”

“Like Mars right?” Jim tries to picture it.

“Like.” He agrees.

Jim begins to think of questions and Spock gets himself more comfortable. “What about your home? What's it like?” Spock shifts onto his side to better face Jim. Jim has his eyes closed and he's breathing in and out normally. “It is large compared to some housing on Earth. My mother has a garden she tends to every day and my father is often working.” Jim shifts around a little while. “Do you ever miss him, Selek?”

“I do not understand.”

“You said he's working a lot, so is he never home?”

Spock waits to answer, completely baffled as to how Jim assumed this. “How do you know that George?” Jim smiles and opens his eyes. Spock, for the first time, pays attention to them. His breath is stuck somewhere in his body. Spock is not poetic. Poetry isn't something relevant for him to be fluent in so he has no logical reason to ever give mind to it. But he thinks of Earth's sky when he sees the brightest eyes looking back at him.

“'Cause my mom works often too,” and Spock understands. They are one and the same, he thinks. That's why Jim and he take so much to one another. Although they are almost at opposite ends, they are quite similar in most respects. “I had a sehlat,” “What's that?” Spock feels the curiosity radiating out of the young boy's body. Spock begins to think of Terran animals before deciding on just showing Jim a picture of the sehlat. They both shift back on their backs. He pulls out his PADD and holds it above them, selecting the picture and letting Jim gaze over it. “It's like a bear, is he nice?”

Spock nods. “I-Chaya was an older sehlat, he had always been there, since before my birth. He belonged to my father and then to me.” He shifts through pictures and Jim tilts his head so that he and Spock are almost touching. “What happened?”

Jim is no stranger to death but he feels the sadness of when Spock looks at the picture of his pet. He likes I-Chaya and feels the sudden pang of longing because he wanted to meet him.

Quietly, Spock tilts his head and they touch. “On Vulcan, there is a test, kahs-wan, we are not given supplies so that we may be tested and achieve pure logic.”

“What if you don't pass it?”

“Then you do not,” Spock replied. “I decided to go early and I-Chaya insisted on going with me. As we walked, we met a le-maya.” Jim doesn't know what that is but he twist his head to where their foreheads and the side of their faces touch. He doesn't want to say sorry, he's sick of hearing people say sorry to him. And he thinks that Spock would find it illogical for him to say sorry when it wasn't his fault. For a moment, he is at a loss and Spock puts the PADD away.

“Tushah nash-veh k'du,” He says slowly. “That is what you are looking for.” Jim finds it a little funny that Spock knew but he had a feeling it wasn't the fact that they were touching is how he knows.

“Tushah nash-veh k'du,” he replies very softly, his Vulcan is lacking but satisfactory for a human. Spock finds the words to spark a feeling from where they connect to the end of his spine. His lips pressed against one another in a fine line.

Jim and Spock become very quiet. They start a game of chess again.

And Jim begins to get sleepy.

They move a couple of pieces before Jim closes his eyes and begins to breathe in a soft rhythm. Spock waits patiently before discovering that Jim has fallen asleep on him.

“Are other Vulcans like you?” Jim asks a moment after. His voice is slightly slurred and deeply laced with signs of him being half asleep. Spock has to think an answer to that question quickly before the boy sleeps. He cannot bring himself up to understand it. “Am I to assume you expected me to act differently?”

Jim slowly nods. “I thought Vulcans were dicks,” If Spock was a human, he would scoff but he understands the profanity Jim is using as an adjective. “Like humans, all Vulcans are different. We drive on logic and what logic drives us most, depends on who we are. Some, are open minded, others are not.” Spock finds his explanation to leave a bitter feeling somewhere. Jim feels it too but does not chase it. “What are you?” He finally asks.

Spock does not need to think about this. “I am an open minded Vulcan,” he decides. “I do not let illogical advice and emotions get the better of me. That is not the way we should pursue Surak's teachings.” Jim shifts and keeps his eyes closed. “Is that why you don't look like you have emotions?”

Spock says a soft yes and silence goes between them. Jim's breathing gets heavier and more rhythmic, falling into a steady beat. Casually, the young boy gets up and watches the blonde human boy sleep. He puts his PADD away and starts for the door.

“Selek,” the boy groans.

“Yes, George?”

To Spock, George looks up at him. He takes a deep breath in and retains the memory of the bright blue eyes that match with the sky. George shifts around on his bed and clears his throat.

“I-I heard a Vulcan say it once; Live long and prosper, Selek.”

To Jim, Selek watches him thoughtfully and his eyes shift to what could be a Vulcan’s way of smiling. Jim watches him and tries to stay away to remember the boy's face.

“Peace and long life, George.”


	2. A Familiar Path

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The path to Fleet  
> *Non-Beta'd Version!

Jim is sixteen and in deep shit. It's mid-September and according to the train station, it was a little over noon. He brings his hands over his face and internally groans at his predicament. He thought it'd be a great idea if he just left home for a little while, just a week, while his mom was off-planet. No big deal until Winona came back because of an unforeseen complication involving illegal smuggling of tribbles.

Tribbles! Jim got in trouble because of some dumb tribbles and now he's having to take the San Francisco bullet train home. He'll take two trains and a couple of buses to reach the impending rage of his mother. She's off duty for a while and she doesn't want to think or look at anything related to space right now.

He figures this is the walk of shame of some sort. Perfect. Typical of his mom to turn the blind eye at why he would want to leave home anyway. Frank is Frank and Riverside is Riverside. To Jim, that's all you need to know to truly understand why he'd run off in the middle of a school month. It's boring and brutal and suffocating. Plus, he's never been to San Francisco before and he likes it. With a little unknown contribution from Winona to the 'Save James T Kirk from boredom' foundation over the course of a few months, he took about 200 dollars with him for the entire week he was going to be there.

Jim is proud to have gotten far. The trains weren't his meaning of transportation, he wanted to actually go on a shuttle. He thinks they're interesting but trains are the cheaper means of traveling.

Bringing his hands down to his lap, he looks around. All he's got is a duffle bag with amenities and clothes. Under his hands, is his PADD on silent because he doesn't want to talk to his mom just yet. He decided to let her cool off or just type her thumbs away in anger to him. It's not going to change how mad she is once he gets home.

His train isn't supposed to arrive until :30 and its only :20. He's on the San Francisco Red Mag-Line that takes him across to the edge of Utah where the lines diverge into two. In front of him is the blue line that goes up the whole west coast.

An announcement goes off for the time. He's got 8 minutes now and the blue line train has 3 minutes before it arrives. Carefully, he unlocks his PADD so that he wouldn't open his mom's messages and begins to look through the mechanics of the trains. Jim curls up comfortably on the bench he's on alone. Somehow, he found himself reading about train incidents during the 21st century and looks up when a cool female voice announces the impending arrival of the blue line train.

And that's when he sees him. Just like he last saw him. His skin is smooth with the faintest splotches of green on his sharp cheeks and the everlasting emotionless face that he wears. Jim's mouth gets dry quickly and he's caught between a gasp and a shout to catch his attention. His finger is still touching the screen of his PADD as he was scrolling down. Jim is stuck.

He doesn't move and he knows the train arrives in about a minute because the woman's voice comes back for a brief announcement. This isn't like Jim, he is a precarious young man but he's also not the type to go running over train tracks to a Vulcan who may or may not be his school boy crush.

He fumbles. For a moment, he doesn't know what to do and he's just moving. His PADD gets put on the floor as he makes sure his duffle is next to him. Then, he frets as he wonders what he should say. How would he able to say anything. Would he just scream his PADD information to the Vulcan in high hopes? What if he has the wrong pointy eared green blooded guy, what if-

The train announcement makes a pretty chime and then people on the opposite side are bustling about, getting their things ready.

Jim figures it's now or never so he decides 'fuck it' and shouts the name _'Selek'_ right before the loud hissing of the maglev’s arrival travels in the air in the wake of Jim's call. His mouth opens again to call for Selek, whose eyes went from his PADD in his hand and looks up.

The dark orbs try to find a face. The California heat is treating him well as he doesn't look like he's uncomfortable by his formal and heavy clothing. Jim's cheeks fluster a bright and vivid red because Spock has yet to see Jim. Would he even recognize him? He was just a young boy who met him by chance by being a stowaway on a cruise ship and having his way with him.

Spock catches Jim's eyes and tilts his head to the side, his cheeks a darker royal green when he catches the blue eyed beauty sizing him up. Jim hasn't realized that if he's got the wrong Vulcan how awkward this really could be if that wasn't the right Vulcan.

The Vulcan's eyebrows come closer together in confusion. It is a strange look, Jim notes to himself, to see a confused Vulcan. Spock's lips part slightly when the trains servers their contact with one another. And Jim didn't even get to yell his information out.

He figures he could get to the other side in time, maybe if he took the overhead bridge to the blue line by running. He thinks this is a good plan, a helluva good plan actually and gets back to his duffel bag and PADD on the lone bench when the ping of a train arrival rings.

 _His_ train. He whips his head around and hears the harsh hissing of his train arriving in the distance. He bolts for the bridge and is mid-way when a different ping altogether sounds. The blue line train zips out of the depot and there is no Vulcan on the other side waiting for Jim. The same ping rings again for the red line.

Jim misses this train and the next one.

* * *

 

Spock is almost late for his train to Seattle. He can't miss this one, he's been putting off the trip up north because of Starfleet and his classes. And due to unforeseen circumstances, he was able to find a valid excuse to be absent from classes for a period of two weeks altogether. Spock was unsettled in the fact that he did not want to seem like he was in anyway more special or unique in comparison to his classmates. He knew that the issue was not unique itself, it sadly happens to everyone at one point or the other. Spock could easily find himself back on pace with his academy classes.

Still, it didn't stop him from showing his feelings. Which was the problem. Spock was a bit out it as far as a Vulcan could be out of something. As if he had not been following the Vulcan way for his entire 20 years of life, he had trouble to keep them in check.

Spock walked in long and graceful strides, people moving out of his way instead of the other way around. He was scrolling through his PADD and his bag hitting his back as he sped walked. Method of transportation by train was more economical and Spock found it to be easier to find an available and comfortable seat on a train versus a shuttle. And shuttle, Spock found, were not like starships and required far more contact between people he'd rather not be in contact with. It wasn't a surprise when he had told his human family that he would be coming by train instead of a plane.

Which proved to be an easier thing on all of them since they lived closer to the Washington Blue Mag-Line than Sea-Tac airport. And Spock did not want to make any more of a trouble than what was already apparent in the situation.

He scrolled down the feed of news. Earlier he had skimmed through Earth news and now he was into the intergalatic incidents feed, skimming those as well. Spock looks up and casually moves to the side when a girl almost bumps into him. She squeaks and her cheeks are red and she has eyes with large pupil. A sign she was enamored. It's surprising that the girl says sorry and rushes to her friend, both eyeing him. His face displays a light sprinkle of green upon his cheeks and they're warm to the touch, Spock finds.  
He figures this is his Human showing.

He doesn't stop walking until he gets near the yellow line of caution to where the platform ends and it falls down to the train rails. He repositions his bag more comfortably to him. Spock is a little more calmed that he hasn't missed the 12:25 PM train. Although Spock knows how he is feeling inside, he does a satisfying job of keeping his outside demeanor something cool, calm and very Vulcan.

 _Selek._ Spock hears it. A name with kind little memories he keeps locked away. _Selek._ The name he heard a boy once whisper to him in the dark, who wished him to live long and prosper.

He does not look up from the screen. He quickly glances to the side because he isn't sure it's on his side or the other. In front of him, there he is. Spock lifts his gaze up from the screen. Blue eyes like the sky and hair like sunshine with the little sprays of freckles here and there. Spock is stuck where he is.

A _speechless_ Vulcan. He is confused.

He knows the California heat does not alter the way his body reacts; his face gets incredibly warm fast. Spock stares and they acknowledge one another through eye contact. Subconsciously, he tilts his head as if mocking what George would do to him when they were younger. The sky looking for the ground, Jim's for Spock's. The rushing sound of the incoming train brings Spock to life.

Inside him, he almost yells for George. He feels the harsh G coming out of his mouth when the incoming train breaks their contact apart. He is numb and weak and his body feels like jelly. He's come to realize he needs to meditate. Badly.

The train is in front of him and he can't think, so he walks in with a stiff aura and avoids contact into he is in his own private cabin.

He's sitting on the train and he still can't think about it. Spock has to get home to Seattle to see his mother, Amanda before she goes. A trade off.

Spock very much decides he can't think what it was and what it could've been earlier.

* * *

 

He’s royally fucked.

Ever since Jim came back, Frank has dumped every single little chore he could think of, on him. Just because he was blonde with blue eyes, doesn’t automatically make him Cinderella. (Jim once said the analogy before in front of Winona and Frank and Frank had responded with “Who the fuck is Cinderella?” That’s when Jim knew Frank was an ignorant idiot.)

This is Winona’s way of making sure Jim is so busy that he’s anchored home. Had she put into consideration that Jim still goes to school?

She knows he skips half of the time anyway. It doesn’t matter anymore, she’s gone off planet again to do God knows what and left Jim alone like she usually does.

 _Bitch._ Jim sits at the bottom step of the stairs with his head in his hand because he finished re-painting the entire thing. Frank isn’t home so he has the leisure. He spreads out his legs in front of him, stretches like a cat. His arms reach for the sky and his legs lift off the ground. He lays against the wall as he finishes the very last step in a beautiful cream color.

Frank always does this. Picks a light color so when he drags his dirty boots in with dirt, Jim will be forced to repaint it a bunch of times. He groans into his hands as soon as he’s done and sits there for a moment. He doesn’t know why he sits there, he does and lets his mind roam.

He’s also not sure what triggered him to think about Selek. He’s been avoiding the thought ever since he got home, he wanted to run after him, tell him to take him with him. Jim scoffs out loud. This wasn’t like him. James Tiberius Kirk did not want to be taken over the shoulder like the princess. No, sir, he was the one going to take someone over his shoulder. Like it should be.

Jim gets up slowly and walks over to his PADD. He had been teaching himself Vulcan, a tricky language but he’s gotten the gist of it. He wished he had someone to practice with but a Vulcan in Riverside? Jim’s sure they don’t take bribes. He closes the application and switches to another language he’s more versatile in.

Hacking. It’s a thing he picked up. Ever since Tarsus? Yeah, it’s one of those things he knows like the back of his hand. It’s like second nature to him. He takes his PADD upstairs, skipping the first steps onto the already dry ones. He shuffles into Winona’s room, the one she keeps to herself and locked half of the time ‘cause Frank drunk ass sometimes goes snooping for money. It was the one thing she told Frank to keep his nose out.

But Jim knows the room by memory, every little shift he makes, he knows how it originally looked like. He puts his thumb on the clean pad on the white door. It’s the cleanest door in the house and the cleanest room. He takes long strides to the computer in the back.

The room is filled with albums and books. It’s the room where Winona wants to forget about the rest of the world and still pretend George Kirk is alive. Yeah, ok, Jim hates this room but he helps him concentrate on the task at hand.

He pulls up Starfleet and begins his work. He’s looking for someone in particular, a Vulcan under the name Selek. While Selek wasn’t wearing a Starfleet uniform and was wearing casual civilian clothes, what else would a Vulcan be doing on Earth? They were beyond advance in the sciences and mathematics. And the way they talked.

Jim was sure he was part of Starfleet. He began to pull out a list of Vulcans currently in the school. There was only three.

Two female twins in their sophomore year and a male senior student who also was an instructor of Advance Phonology and Interspecies Ethics. He hovered over the name ‘Spock’. Wow, jeez, his mom must really love him. Starfleet required ID, which meant a photo was probably available on the database.

He exited out of the student registry and onto the teacher one. His PADD lit up and he took a small glance at the screen. It was almost the top of the hour, fuck- Frank would be home and if he was caught in this room, Winona would have his head served on a plate.

He scrambled up, putting everything back and turning the computer off. He held his PADD in his armpit as he stepped out and left everything the way he found it. Jim didn’t want to home anytime Frank was and looking at his PADD screen, he’d rather go spend the night getting shit faced at some party with some girl name Lucy apparently.

* * *

 

A few years pass and the thought of meeting Selek leaves his mind. The search for a Vulcan he meet as a kid and who he was sure he had the biggest crush on was put on his lowest priority list ever since he ran away from home.

Well, he was 18 but who was counting age right? He took Frank he was sick of his drunk ass and abusive shit and ran the hell out of there. He had a bike he worked real hard on and drove it a little far than he had originally plan.

James Tiberius Kirk fucked around a lot. He got beaten up and then proceeded to beat other people up. He got drunk and then forgot what even happened that night. He had hookups, a lot of them good, he guesses. He’s around 18 and a half when he hits on Uhura, gets beaten up by a guy he calls Cupcake and then Pike comes up to him.  
It’s not his fondest memory, having napkins up both nostrils because he’s bleeding a shit ton and talking about who he is and could be. The conversation stuck to him like a gum under his shoe for the rest of his life.

_“Why are you talking to me, man?”_

_“‘Cause I looked up your file while you were drooling on the floor. Your aptitude tests are off the charts. So what is it?”_

  
At the time, Jim wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure what he wanted, where he wanted to go or do. He didn’t know who to trust. All he had was all he could work with. His looks, his charm, and his head. In the end of the day, who was Jim Kirk? Who even cared for Jim Kirk?

_“You like being the only genius-level repeat-offender in the Midwest?”_

_“Maybe I love it.”_

Looking back at the conversation, looking back at it now. He did. He liked not being owned by anyone, not having to see anyone’s face he cared for but the reflection of his own.

_“Or do you feel like you were meant for something better? Something special.”_

  
Why did he have to pull that that reverse psychology thing on him and it gets to Jim’s head. He knows it shouldn’t. Pike did it on purpose, but he doesn’t care. Maybe there was more to life than getting beat up at bars in the middle of nowhere and getting piss drunk. Maybe Pike was right.

_“Enlist in Starfleet.”_

He laughed about it at first.

_“I dare you to do better.”_

The challenged. Jim liked that. The idea of being something better. He thinks about it a lot and it’s that look of the Enterprise being build is what sucks him in. He gets rid of that bike, reminds him too much of Riverside. Not home. It was never home for him.

_“Four years? I’ll do it in three.”_

The answer to the challenge. He ups the ante.

* * *

 

_“I may throw up on ya.”_

Bones, is the first best friend he’s had since Tarsus IV. He doesn’t tell Bones at first but he finds out when Kirk gets too drunk once. They don’t talk about it much but ever since, Bones knows Jim better than Winona. Jim doesn’t feel all too bad about it. Bones is a better mother than Winona was the older Jim got. He coddles, but hey, he’d rather be healthy and yelled at than missing classing and fooling around. Bones is the stern voice of reason he’s always needed in his life.

He makes real life changing realization on the morning of the third try of the Kobayashi Maru when Bones is yelling at him to eat something. He’s made pancakes, the ones that Jim always beg him to make ever since he made them on his birthday freshmen year. He sits and stares at Bones who scowls back at him. Jim smiles at him, the one smile that Bones hates. “That smile makes you look more of an asshole,”

 

 

He surprises everyone. Beating the impossible.

“Something I admired about your dad, he didn’t believe in no-win scenarios”

It was something Pike said during that one fateful conversation. Damn that conversation. Damn it to Hell. It’s there nagging in the back of his head. When he realized the Kobayashi Maru was determined to make you fail, there was no failure. He couldn’t accept it, _he didn’t believe in no-win scenarios_. Following in what his father would’ve wanted (for once in his life because Jim never met the guy, why would do what he wanted?) and believed in, Jim rigged it. Damn a no-win scenario.

But then the Vulcan. He was an instructor, something very prestigious at Fleet. Probably stuck up too. Jim has seen the way they sit with their posture perfect and looking down at you like you’re the scum of the Earth.

  
And then he got to step forward in front of the council over it. He didn’t think twice about what he was doing because he didn’t know who he was going to see.

_“Cadet Kirk, evidence has been submitted to this council suggesting that you violated the ethical code of conduct pursuant to Regulation 17.43 of the Starfleet Code. Is there anything you care to say before we begin, sir?”_

Jim opened his mouth, a hesitation to what he was about to say. In a quick moment, he spoke clearly. _“Yes, I believe I have the right to face my accuser directly.”_  
And Jim saw that Vulcan stand up. _Son of a bitch._

He knew that face, the dark coffee colored eyes and curve of the mouth. Although, the Vulcan was most serious now. He saw it. He saw the young boy who kept him company, the crush he had for almost all of his life. He opened his mouth, stunned for a moment and then looked forward.

He was extremely angry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so a few things before the next chapter is up, if it's ever up tbh:
> 
> *Yes, this does follow '09 because I think '09 does a great job.  
> *No, I will not cover ALL of '09 ad re-write it. I think it does a great job by itself. There'll be some highlighted moments next.  
> *YES, Spock is IGNORANT to the fact that George is in fact Jim but Jim knows that Selek is obvious Spock.  
> *Vulcan is destroyed, I'm not sure if I want to keep Spock's mom or not. But, you know, whatever I do, it'll be cool. :)  
> *Feedback is welcomed greatly.  
> *And yes, my chapters are short but I want to keep these updated and school is getting intense during this time before the year ends!! As of how long the next chapter will be, I'm not even sure.


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